My Corpse Will Not Be Your Movement’s Foundation

No one is as clear and raw as Aud.

An Odd Rey

     Coming into an all day Bi+ Institute, where seconds before people in the room had been talking about how the Bi+ community, how the terms, bi,bisexual, and biromantic had at times saved their lives, and then raising your hand to state that you feel that those very labels, should be abolished in favor of a different term, like pansexual is violence.

   At the time I personally was too gobsmacked say anything. I personally take this moment, this utterance, as the trigger that sent me into a dissociative episode that lasted not just the whole rest of the day, but had extreme mental health consequences weeks afterwards.

    I felt hurt, so much pain and hurt. I’ll never forget the looks on people’s faces. The sheer pain. But also the sheer, unbridled rage. I at the time failed everyone miserably in not calling that statement out…

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About fliponymous

Bisexual activist, thinker, writer, husband, father, Licensed Professional Counselor.
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6 Responses to My Corpse Will Not Be Your Movement’s Foundation

  1. Angel says:

    Without knowing exactly what the commenter’s words were, I can’t judge. I’m a transguy and consider myself to be pansexual. I don’t believe in forcing labels on other people. I don’t see bi (et al) as being transphobic, but it does reinforce the idea of a binary gender system, which some trans people don’t fall into. My concern with this kind of…I have no other word but diatribe but I’m not meaning that in a condemning way…is that more and more I see people in the LGBTQ “community” going batsh*t on each other for little to no reason. I don’t know if this person got up there and DEMANDED the term be abolished (which does sound absurd) or was it just a suggestion that people were not even willing to discuss (because honestly I’ve seen people freak out on allies and each other for no valid reason). When did we become incapable of talking to each other without being “triggered” by every little thing? And I’m talking about just within these kinds of safe spaces, not out in the world where there is absolutely physical violence and danger. But when did just bringing up an idea that is counter to someone else’s belief become a form of violence? Again, I don’t know how the suggestion was phrased, because that would be very telling. It just frustrates me to see infighting within an already marginalized conglomerate of very unique individuals.

    • fliponymous says:

      “it does reinforce the idea of a binary gender system” NO. It doesn’t. That is recent rhetoric that is being foisted on the bi community from outside. The bisexual community has a long history of being the slice of the rainbow that embraced and welcomed our transgender siblings.

      I know Aud. I trust Aud’s rendition of the story, even if I didn’t have independent verification from others who were there — which I do.

      Bi does not reinforce the binary. You know what does? Straight and Gay.

      • Angel says:

        The term bisexual contains the prefix bi- just like binary, where its definition is:
        bi-
        combining form
        two; having two. “bicolored”
        occurring twice in every one. “biannual”
        occurring once in every two. “bicentennial”
        I’m not saying that bisexual people enforce the binary, but the term literally by definition does. It’s a messy discussion, and I don’t care what people call themselves or how they identify, as long as they don’t try to tell other people how to feel or identify.

        • fliponymous says:

          “the term literally by definition does” I’m calling bullshit on that. Being gay doesn’t mean you’re happy by definition, and all lesbians are not from a small Greek island.

          • Terry says:

            I’d like to second the motion of that being bullshit 🙂

            And say that I’m really sorry that the post about non-bi telling bi people what is to be bi (and how colossally fucked up that is) has a comments section that consists exclusively of non-bi telling bi people what is to be bi… Can we have an equivalent of Godwin’s Law?

        • fliponymous says:

          The other thing is that the person Aud is writing about was precisely telling other people how to identify — they were advocating that bisexual be deprecated and pansexual replace it as the label for our community.

          The infighting that is frustrating you is not bisexuals attacking pansexuals. It is people who are attempting to divide the bisexual community (and erase its history) by being linguistic prescriptivists when it suits them. It is coming from people who want to avoid the word bisexual so badly that they claim they are not part of the B in LGBT. It is a recent development and it’s being driven by monosexual queer theory in academia, which has always been hostile to bisexuality, and has moved to Tumblr.

          I’m not going to tell you how to label yourself. I am going to strongly object when you redefine my label to mean something it doesn’t — that it “reinforces the gender binary” when bisexuals were destroying the gender binary while straight and gay people were still telling bisexual trans people like Sylvia Rivera to quit making such a fuss.

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